Dinner

I cooked dinner tonight. It's actually been a long time since I've done so. It turned out really good and tasted great only . . . Well it was supposed to be a 30 minute meal. I started around 3:30, took about a 20 minute break, and finished making dinner around 6. I mean I guess I double the recipe so maybe prep would take a little longer (which may not have been included in the 30 minutes) but still. I just can't seem to do it.

Today is a Glass Is Half . . .

Empty kind of day for me. I'm really struggling with the gratitude thing. I mean I know their are many things I have to be grateful for, but I'm letting the negativity get in the way. So I decided to vent here on the blog in the hopes that I will be able to get it out of the way and not let it bother me.

1. Part of my problem is I'm tired a lot of the time. Getting out of bed several times a night to feed the little one, and occasionally having an older one come in is really taking a toll. It doesn't help that I often go to bed late. I have a reason for this though. Jeff, because of the way his classes are set up and because of the demands of his job, often doesn't get home till 8:30 (next semester it will be even later). So I don't want to go to bed early, because we like to hang out in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed.

2. This morning Jeff woke up with his ankle hurting really bad. So bad that he decided to go over to Emergency Care (which means it really hurts because he doesn't go to the doctor when he should). Luckily we have insurance, but along with that is a $40 copay. Which honestly, we just don't have the budget for. Well we do, but it will have to come out of the Christmas fund. And I know we don't need a big Christmas with lots of things and the kids won't know the difference. I will, however, and it bothers me. I admit I go overboard with plans and gift ideas and things I want to do, but I can't seem to help myself.

3. Well this one is just a minor annoyance, but on top of everything else and my already pessimistic attitude just bugs me to no end. My FB account was deactivated. I guess they deactivate them when they think you're not a real person or something. I've had the account for over 4 years and I haven't done anything different lately so I'm not sure why it would be deactivated. You can reactivate it, but honestly, I don't really care enough to (at least at the moment). So if I'm no longer in your friend list, that would be why.

4. Just general mess and clutter. I talked about this in a previous post so I won't go into detail. Suffice it to say that it bugs me and the thought of cleaning also bugs me.

So that's me venting. However, my children are being super cute playing together (all three of them) which is helping me to feel a little better. I love it when they all play (especially since Maes has just started to enjoy playing on the floor!).

Cleaning

I really dislike it. It frustrates me to no end. At least the kind of cleaning where I have to try and find a place for all the clutter we've acquired. And yet, having a cluttered room frustrates me to no end and just drives me insane (no it didn't always but it does now). So I'm stuck in a Catch 22. The fact that the room is super cluttered puts me into a bad mood and the thought of cleaning also puts me in a bad mood. What to do?

Party Party Party It's the Weekend

Sort of. Jeff has to work tomorrow morning but that's okay. Because as Nadia said the other night "He's off making us more money." And well it's just for a few hours. Then after that Olivier has his birthday party. So I guess we will party party party in a four year old way.

Today has been a lazy day so far. Jeff let me sleep in because I hadn't been able to sleep all that well last night. It was pretty nice. When I did wake up it was to curl up in my chair with a blanket because it's nice and chilly here. It has been all week for the most part and I love it. I can actually stand to drink hot chocolate, wear long sleeves or sweaters. Mmm some of my favorite things that usually don't work so well here.

I got a phone call yesterday. I don't usually get many calls. Jeff will call to tell me he's on his way home, sometimes my Mom calls and very rarely Becky will call when she is out and about. But this call wasn't from either of them. And it wasn't from a number I didn't recognize (I get those too though they are usually some automated recording.) I won't really go in to detail, but it made me happy. I felt . . . I don't know . .  . really good that they had chosen to call me about . . . well the reason they called. Cryptic I know but hey.

Plans for today: Not many, but I'd like to go see if I can find a local yarn shop that I heard about on the internet. I don't know if it really exists, but if it does I'd like to check it out.

Attitude of Gratitude

I am normally a pessimistic person. Just ask my husband. However, lately, I've been thinking about the need to be optimistic in life. I can't help but notice life is a lot happier when you're optimistic. Sure bad things happen and will continue to happen no matter what. Still I can choose to be more optimistic and grateful for the things I do have. I have so much to be grateful for. We may not be where we want to be yet, but we're getting there. So I decided to do a thankful list this year.

I think my change of heart has to do with a friend of mine. She has a podcast that I've been listening to. In it she talks quite openly about her struggles with depression. Listening to it makes me wish I could live closer to her and help her out when she needs it. She also talks about how no matter what she is trying her hardest to stay positive about things, to overcome her depression. If she can be positive then so can I.

Home Made Tortillas

Yesterday, as Becky was making enchiladas for dinner she ran out of tortillas. So we made our own. Becky mixed up the dough, then she and Nadia rolled them out nice and flat (Nadia loves to help out in the kitchen), and I cooked them up. They turned out great and it was surprisingly easy and relaxing. The kitchen was nice and sunny, everything was calm and peaceful, all in all a wonderful few moments shared with family.

Nadia cleaning up.

The result.