Empty kind of day for me. I'm really struggling with the gratitude thing. I mean I know their are many things I have to be grateful for, but I'm letting the negativity get in the way. So I decided to vent here on the blog in the hopes that I will be able to get it out of the way and not let it bother me.
1. Part of my problem is I'm tired a lot of the time. Getting out of bed several times a night to feed the little one, and occasionally having an older one come in is really taking a toll. It doesn't help that I often go to bed late. I have a reason for this though. Jeff, because of the way his classes are set up and because of the demands of his job, often doesn't get home till 8:30 (next semester it will be even later). So I don't want to go to bed early, because we like to hang out in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed.
2. This morning Jeff woke up with his ankle hurting really bad. So bad that he decided to go over to Emergency Care (which means it really hurts because he doesn't go to the doctor when he should). Luckily we have insurance, but along with that is a $40 copay. Which honestly, we just don't have the budget for. Well we do, but it will have to come out of the Christmas fund. And I know we don't need a big Christmas with lots of things and the kids won't know the difference. I will, however, and it bothers me. I admit I go overboard with plans and gift ideas and things I want to do, but I can't seem to help myself.
3. Well this one is just a minor annoyance, but on top of everything else and my already pessimistic attitude just bugs me to no end. My FB account was deactivated. I guess they deactivate them when they think you're not a real person or something. I've had the account for over 4 years and I haven't done anything different lately so I'm not sure why it would be deactivated. You can reactivate it, but honestly, I don't really care enough to (at least at the moment). So if I'm no longer in your friend list, that would be why.
4. Just general mess and clutter. I talked about this in a previous post so I won't go into detail. Suffice it to say that it bugs me and the thought of cleaning also bugs me.
So that's me venting. However, my children are being super cute playing together (all three of them) which is helping me to feel a little better. I love it when they all play (especially since Maes has just started to enjoy playing on the floor!).